Tuesday, January 1, 2008

New Year's Day

Bringing Myasthenia into the new year. By 4:00 p.m. I have established that the aches, pains of the arms and legs, exhausted and weak, choking, arm/hand weakness, shortness of breath, not able to lift legs from bed, have to hand lift..... to name a few..... are MG in origin, not another autoimmune, or other disease (I have a storehouse from which to choose ;-), beginning yesterday, and culminating today. It seems to still be building. For the sake of the blog and for memory, it began with the bad headache, and unusually painful feet yesterday. I have fought to make this an *up* day, but have not gained as much as I would have liked.

What?


Well, pain free for one. LOL !! Hunting around Blogger to learn more of how to do things here that I have an interest in doing, hunting blogs to find things others do that I might like to also do (That takes so much time because I get side tracked into reading.). I have some things in a basket at the end of my bed that I need and want to go through. My get-up-and-go, is in short supply...... what little I can find, that is...... checking here in this corner, that corner..... waaaay up there! Nope! It just got-up-and-got away! My legs have hurt without gaining relief today, too. Actually, rather unusual, without something specific I can relate to possibly bringing it on. This is another reason for this blog; to possibly pinpoint what is what, and where it is coming from (I know, not correct grammar, but.... ;-)

Unrelenting. That is the one word I find for this afternoon. The pain is unrelenting, even increasing, and it has gone and brought the neck into playing its silly games. The fingers. When the fingers get like this, I can still type, just not real good. They scream "Lollipop! Lollipop!" I say, "NO!" And all the bodies' cells say, "What is the ONE thing you can do to stay away from the Lollipops?" The sixty-five (65) year-old woman lying up in the bed looking all well and chipper (at this moment), "Put everything away and go to bed."

"Yes, yet you resist rest, total rest needed for the Myasthenia Gravis. That is the nature of the beast, rest is a curative. Just being in, or on the bed is not necessarily rest. Why do you resist rest? Think about it."

This is *part* of the hard part of this blog. Things I do not want to talk about with others, and if I do not do it now, it will soon get lost in my memory. Again, again, again........ this is one of the WHYs I am doing this blog. My daily walk with MG. How does it affect me. Aaarrrgh! It is more like how does it NOT affect me. I went over to the MG forum last night for a while. This is the Myasthenia Gravis Association Forum in case you'd like to check it out. I found it very helpful in understanding many things about the disease, and how people outside the United States cope with the disease. I found Pros and Cons on both sides. Seeing the differences and the whys for them, I can say I am confident to stay where I am, not even taking the choice to go to the Mayo Clinic at this time. Today, I feel assurance in my medical team. I am an atypical patient, and they have no problem being open about this, and I feel confident they will tell me if they reach a brick wall with me, and feel they can do nothing more, and that the Mayo is the best choice for me. But this is now........... Let the Mayo wait until it is needed, or only IF it is needed. I'd rather use that money on my grandchildren, or to go shopping at Cracker Barrel!!!

Speaking of grandchildren. There is one asleep in the living room right now. I think she had a sleepless night at the church Lock-In last night, and though her mama made her take a nap, I doubt she got all rested.


Good night, Christen


Ragdoll Billie
Striving for a world without Myasthenia Gravis

2 comments:

Cindy Breninger said...

Happy New Year girlie-girl! :) Hope you feel better, and I hope it happens soon-like as of right now!
Cindy
www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com P.S. Your page looks great!

ragdoll said...

Well, you know you are the reason I finally took the step and started this, don't you? Now I'm trying to find out about the sidebar stuff.

Thank you, Cindy, for helping to get me started, and I'll accept any help you care to dish out at any time. ;-)

Some good posts you have had of your own, too, girl.

Ragdoll Billie
www.andlifegoesononedayonestepatatime.blogspot.com/