Thursday, January 1, 2009

Goodbye 2008 - hello 2009

I just figured out why I've been procrastinating with this next post which is supposed to be the day after the last one which was December 27th, and it was a shorty itself. Mercy, look at the difference in the dates. Unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable. The way I have been feeling is no excuse. Not an excuse. Not even though I totally missed Christmas because I was so sick, and Debbie and Mark brought us a plate of food over, and we just doled gift cards out, and gifts in store bags. Ha! I never even saw anything. Couldn't even care at the time ::shhh, that is "at the time," not now:: Missed the baby's first real Christmas, and they said he had a ball. Reminds me, I've got to text to have some pix sent to me. Got some others, but really now, nothing beats pix of the babies does it?

Hmmm, well, maybe I really don't have it figured out after all. It is so hard to put things together when you are just so blah. Well, maybe it's a bit more than just a bit blah. After last year of wait, wait, and wait some more where Jim's surgery was concerned, I think I am almost afraid to even begin to think of beginning this year since the first major thing on the slate is the back surgery. I want it, need it, but am so scared of it because of the risk with the MG. Campbell says he's well versed in surgery with the MG patient. All I can do is to trust him. What else is there? Hey, I'm just repeating myself, but that is partially where I am, and why I am having trouble getting started up again after that awful time with the last treatment. An excuse? Let's not drop down, and start relying on times like that. It wasn't the first, and won't be the last, will it now?

Okay, here is the group of them, sans us. Yeah, I feel it. It hurts. I don't want to get going post-holidays because I don't want to feel anything. Just lie here, and let the pain define me. Nah, you know better than that. That is not me. I'm going to give you this now, and then get on and see what I can do. Can do. That is action. Not passive. There are a few things I have working right now.

I *do* have to log in this severe pain I am experiencing, which I do not believe has anything to do with the IVIG treatments, the next one coming up in ten days. Okay, that is done. Look now at this fine family. There is Debbie and Mark, then Christen - remember when she got her lip busted during softball?-holding Ashton - well, he's been all over the place; Donnie and Jimbo, who took such good care of Jim following his da Vinci surgery, both of them; then Ashley, flittering about, trying to find her place in life, which she is still doing.

Boy, I wish hair styles had been this simple when I was younger!

Goodbye 2008 - hello 2009

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