...and Life Goes On, One Day, One Step at a Time: Remembering Coleman and Team Larson

So much has gone on since Christmas morning in the lives of the Larsons, it is impossible for me to tell you all of it without getting something wrong for sure. After letting Caden open a few things from Santa they let him choose a couple to take with him as they took Coleman to the ER. It was December 30, when they returned to their unchanged living room as they has left it on Christmas moring. While they were in the ER they called their doctor, and he gave them the option of going home or staying there to be looked over. They knew they could not take him home in his present condition, so Coleman and Peggy got a ride in the helicopter though Coleman never knew anything about it. They were well cared for in Des Moines,De

Peggy: We came home today December 30, 2009, and met with a couple of awesome ladies from hospice, and we went over many options. For now, we are home. That may change, but we want to try it at least. Also Coleman is on a new oral chemo, because…. Well… “Team War-sin NEV-VA divs up.” We aren’t finished yet… we know in our hearts we need to keep praying and trusting in God’s love for Coleman and for us all.

We have a new set of meds to keep Cman comfortable. That's our main goal, we DO NOT want him to be in pain, and so far he doesn’t seem to be. We pray that continues. We’ll take one day at a time and see how everything goes. The one thing, the only thing, that’s for certain right now- God is with us and giving us strength to keep going.

Caden was able to come to the hospital and spend the past few nights with us in the room. It was a wonderful gift to all four be able to spend time together, even if it was in a hospital room.

We’ve been having talks with Caden…I can’t begin to explain how difficult it is to answer his questions, hold him as he sobs, and says he needs to “help Coe-man fight harder.” It brings to mind the quote we have on Coleman’s home page here- "“There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.” -Frank A. Clark
How true it is.

The bond between Caden and Coleman is something we’ve seen all along, and that in itself is hard for us to comprehend at times, yet it’s there. I think we’ve given Caden as much as he can handle each time we talk, and we take his cue of when he needs to quit talking about it & go back to being the bouncy little boy he is.

Peggys next update came earlier today, January 3, 2008. Oh, my goodness. I've lost a son, and I do not know if I could go through all she and Scott are going through, the decisions they are having to make, or not. They truly are living one day, one moment at a time as I have shown here in my own blog, but definitely NOT to this extreme. Could I go day by day and watch and wonder if my five-year-old son is going to see the sun rise tomorrow. We all face that uncertain future, and reality is that today IS our future, but Coleman has specific reasons to make his body vulnerable for questioning tomorrow's sunrise. When Robert died, he was killed instantly, thrown from the vehicle in which he was riding. To the best of our knowledge, he died very near instantly from a broken neck, but that is something we will never know for absolute certaintity, for did the officials tell us that to comfort us, or what. Being a mother, I took it as the truth. That is why I empathyse with Peggy so much. I have written her several times. She and Debbie are the same ages, so it is easy for me to place her with us, or vice versa Debbie in her shoes. THAT is why I want to fight for childhood cancer awareness, and wish I could get my family onboard since we have five eligible ones in our family, with a sixth one coming up.

Now from Peggy's update from today, mainly Peggy and Scott were being unsuccessful at keeping him comfortable, and after the hospice nurse arrived, it was decided to move him to the hospice house where they could access his port and give him some stronger drugs that could do a better job at releiving his pain.

Caden gets to come and go during the daytime, but HE wants to be there with the family at night. I feel so much for him. Peggy posted a couple of pictures which are below, and you can see the furrow in his brow in the one where he is kissing Coleman. There is truly an unspeakable bond between the twins, and the doctors have spoken of it from time to time as the best medicine Coleman could be getting.

It is my prayer that God will bring an unspeakable peace to the Larson fa\mily to get them from one moment to the next. When I chose that picture I had more in mind, but it has escaped me at the moment, except for that which I have spoken. Peace, real peace; joy, real joy. Most miss out on this from our true Christmas truth, that it is not Christ's birthday as we think of birthdays as a date on the calendar. I don't know why this picture struck me so for them, but what? Peggy has spoken all along about the Peace that Jesus has given them, and this, to me, reflects that peace. The artist, to me, did a great rendition. Is it God wrapped around them, holding them safely in His arms? I don't know. The longer you look at it, the more you can read it.

We are praying for Coleman's life, and for a cure for his cancer. We are also working for the awareness of the devastating effects of childhood cancer in all of our children. The majority of people are not aware. There are some things I can and want to do, but my station in bed is crimping my style to get them printed. I HAVE to figure a way to get it done from here, and need to do it today!! It will have to be over the pain, but what better way than to do something for someone else to rise above the stinking ole pain that I get so tired of battling. Look forward to try to help someone else.

I'm selfish, too, in that I use my digital graphics in my blog presentations. They are a HUGE pare of me, just as my music was. At times I want to do nothing but digital graphics, working my way back up to be able to use my hands with other mediums. While I was making the following text, "We love you Coleman," I just happened to remember how to do something with the vector text box, as you see I have done here. Maybe not the most austute, but another return of a bit of my knowledge. Just the how snapped in my memory. So, we love you Coleman, and "I" am happy with the work I did with the pictures, and this is why Coleman says, "NEV-VA div up," and why, though in hospice house, they are still trying an oral chemo drug on him, still looking for a cure, and continued life for this five-year-old little boy who has stolen so many people's hearts, least of all, mine! But, especially his five-year-old twin brother. Those hearts grew together, and they have lived together since this monster hit Coleman when he was